Fit In My Skin
by Broken-string Angel
Summary: Gaara forgot something important and everyone and everything around him didn’t made sense. Valentine Day’s special.


**Summary**

Gaara forgot something important and everyone and everything around him didn't made sense. Valentine Day's special.

------------

This is a Valentine's Day gift for all the GaaNaru fans and GaaNaru LJ community members as well as Chris :P for the help he gave me all along.

---------

**Fit in my skin **

Author: Broken-string Angel

Genre: Romance/ One-shot

Pairing: GaaNaru

----------

_Kaijuu…!_1

This is the word that has been implanted to describe me. Wherever I go, everywhere I turn, I hear that.

Terror stricken eyes staring at me, foot running away from me, screams of fear and anger always rings in my head, every day, every hour, every minute, every_ second_.

It didn't matter whatever I tried to do. Even when I tried to go near them, hoping that they would be my friends, they would run away from me, screaming for me to go away from them, even when I screamed for them to stop, they never did, they never….. and it only made them hate me even more. I wanted them, all of them to see past the monster label that was painted onto my face and to see who I really am.

Couldn't they see? I am just like them. I am a human too. I have feelings just like them, even if I am a vessel for a monster. A bloodthirsty monster.

I get lonely too. I want attention, care and…….

Love….

Love was the one thing that I never get to experience all my life. I never felt family love, my dad hated me, _no_ that was putting the feeling he felt for me too lightly, he despised me, he never see me as anything but a tool for him to expand his village, his blood thirst took over him and turned him into a monster, the monster I never get to see who he really was before he sold his soul to the devil.

My only other family was Temari and Kankarou, but they were just like the rest. Even though they do not run away from me, I could see that they long to do so. They were trained very well by my dad to hide their emotions from being painted all over their face, but their eyes betrayed them. I could see they had the same eyes that belonged to everyone that laid their eyes on me. Terror, hatred, fear, despise, panic, disgust, and million more emotions of detest colored the pupil of their eyes, just like the rest of them.

For all my life, I only experience the feeling of love once. I thought he loved me the same way I did. I thought he cared for me the way no one else did. I poured my soul and hope into him, hoping that he would never leave me alone. Hoping that I could beat the fate that I was born into, hoping that I could defy the name I was given. Gaara, the god that only loved himself.

But what I did not realized is how wrong I could be.

Even the one person I ever loved betrayed me. He wanted to kill me and destroy me even though I loved him so much. Even though he failed to kill me physically, but he did killed me. He killed me from the inside, he killed my soul, and he killed that innocent boy with wide eyes who didn't know a thing about the cruelty of the world. He killed that naïve boy who has hoped to feel love in his life and never to live isolated from the rest of the world. He killed me from the inside, even if he never live to know that.

I died the moment life flew away from his body. My soul died with him, forever lost within the depths of hell.

I sold my soul to the devil, just like my father the moment I carved the word love on my head. I was no different from the monster I housed within me.

That was what I was forced to believe and it became what I lived for.

To live for myself and _only_ for myself.

-------

Gaara sighed. He didn't know why. But somehow or other, something seems to be nagging inside his head. No, it wasn't Shukaku. That monster seems to have been rather quiet these few fays, not that he minded it.

But now, instead of Shukaku nagging in his head to go to sleep and let him out rampaging with his body, another more annoying nagging feeling was ringing inside his head.

You know, that strange feeling you get when you feel you had forgotten something but just can't remember what it is?

That is the exact feeling taking over him.

Gaara sighed again and pushed himself off the cliff he was sitting on.

------

That horrible smell took over my sense. I wasn't one for perfume but it seems like today, everyone is wearing it. No, cancel that, almost the entire opposite gender is covered head to toe with it. How on earth they did it, bathe in it?

And why is everyone bringing chocolates with them? And coupled with major blushing and whispering with their friends while sneaking glances and hiding behind bushes?

Today is the day that escapes my logic.

I sneezed. Great, what a wonderful moment to discover I am having allergies for perfume. I better get out of here before I turned into a sneezing machine and alert everyone of my presence. I don't know why, but somehow or other, I had the feeling that no one wanted to be watched. If not, why on earth are they acting like they are in their own room?

Eww… that sounded disgusting.

Blechh, why did I even think of that?

I shook my head. Today is really a bad day for me. Sneezing and weird thinking is just not me.

-------

Sands began to cover my legs, in a not so friendly way. Rough, coarse, they rub uncomfortably all over my skin.

They wiggled their way into my pants, I don't know how, I don't know why, I don't even know why am I doing this.

Today is a really bad day, _really bad._

Fighting a losing battle with the sand, I decided to just tried and run through it.

_Even if_ I looked like a total idiot doing it.

Imagine, the great, scary, homicidal Sabaku no Gaara, the name that is to be feared, to be shivered at, to be frightened of, is wobbling like a duck trying to waddle through the thick layers of sand on the beach.

_Front page material._

I snickered. I was the master of sand, I command them. They were supposed to listen to me. Well, actually more like listening to Shukaku. But that doesn't make a difference. But today, it seems as if they were all out against me.

Like little leeches biting my skin, this sand is making me itch in a very uncomfortable way.

Snickering?

O god. Now I sound like a girl. I am losing my bad boy attitude.

I cringed. Oh my god, bad boy attitude.

Something is _definitely_ wrong with me today.

Great, the world is turning all weird around me just on the day I am having good mood.

Yes, the great Sabaku no Gaara is in good mood. Gaara had great coffee this morning. Gaara did not have an annoying Shukaku screaming in his head to go to sleep so that he can use his body for havoc, Gaara did not have a bloody mother whispering to him to get blood. Summary, Gaara is happy.

Gaara is so happy, he is thinking in third person. Gaara is also grinning in a non-homicidal way today. Gaara is so jovial; he is daring anyone to make a comment on his OOC-ness.

Any comment?

Be frightened everyone, because he is going to go rampaging through these annoying sand that gets _everywhere._

--------

I stared at the door. No, make it the rotten wooden door. It is so rotten and broken down; it looked like it has been chewed all over. By what? I don't want to know. _Ever._

There's no way I will ever push it with my hand. I might be an insomniac, mascara-wearing (that's what _they_ think), anorexic-looking ninja, with beautiful pearl white skin and sexy red hair, but I am definitely the cleanest guy you ever met.

Don't believe me? Try going to my room. Not a speck of dust. Even the dead flies in my room are turned into food for my sand.

Not like Temari's or Kankarou's room. Eww…I don't even want to think about that time I walked into their room and what I saw.

What to know what's in it, those of you who would scream if I don't tell you?

Go see yourself, don't ask me. I am not going to recall it just because you scream!

Augh, I can feel a headache building up.

(A/N : I know I am making Gaara VERY OOC. I am sorry!)

BANG!

The door smashed open and before I could register what happened……

AUGGHHHH!

Something soft, warm but fast pushed me to the ground, just when I was off guard. Great, of _all _the times!

I glared up, using my angriest, scariest, creepiest, the 'I can make anyone pee in their pants' glare.

I was expecting any of the following responses: Screaming, crying, peeing, begging, and shrieking.

But definitely not the following.

Laughing

Tickling

Giggling.

Big Wide Smile.

What the……

The horror!

I am sorry but I am currently unavailable. Please leave a message. I will call you back when I return from my weird horrifying dream to the real world. Thank you.

My eyes squeezed shut. What…what happened? How my glare could fail me? No! This can't be happening! Noooo!

Giggle. More giggles.

_No more giggling!_

"GAARA!"

Oh god, I regretted what I said. I take giggling anytime.

_No screaming!_

Wait…wait a minute. Why does the voice sound so familiar?

Green orb of eyes snapped open to see a grinning-so-wide-it-could-split face.

It's him. Figures.

"Get off me, now!"

He refused to budge. He continued to stare down at me with that stupid grin on his face, looking like a fox with the three whiskers on his cheeks.

Don't ask me where he got his whiskers. I had no idea.

Damn him, I bet he is feeling all smug that he is on top of me right now and I am trapped under him.

I would love to wipe that smile off him.

While I was busy thinking of ways to accomplish my mission to wipe off that arrogant smile on him, I was caught off guard. _Again._

Something warm and soft touched my skin so quick, so swift, it was gone before I realized it. My eyes widen in shock, looking up at the blushing blonde that was looking away from me.

Blushing. That's saying too lightly of it. More like turning beet-root red all over his cheeks.

"I….I…y-you…."

He is blushing even deeper, more than humanly possible. Something seems to be out of ordinary with him. Naruto never blush, or god forbid, stutter?

Why is he acting all weird now?

Realization hit me. Oh my god. Naruto kissed me.

Naruto, the loud, annoying, noisy, boisterous, happy, determined blonde, is turning beet-root red and stuttering. In front of me.

This is a _better_ front page material.

I continued to stare at him, who is looking like a total idiot, more than he normally is with his annoying loud shrieking voice. Oh, kami-sama, this is too funny for a normal person to withstand.

I snickered. The worst mistake I ever done.

That broke him from that weird, quiet other side of Naruto that is hidden from the world and returns him to his normal self.

Which translates to loud and earsplitting screams.

"GAARA, YOU ARE LATE! YOU PROMISED ME LAST WEEK TO BE HERE BY 10 AM AND ITS 1.30PM ALREADY! I WAS WORRIED SICK! WHY AREN'T YOU HERE ON TIME!"

I did?

O god, so that was that nagging feeling that has been bothering me all day. I forgot my promise to meet this idiot.

"I forgot about it, ok? And don't scream at my ear again!"

His blue cerulean eyes widen at my words. Tears began to form and pool around his eyes, threatening to fall with a single jerk.

"Oh no, Naruto, why are you crying? What is so important about today?"

My eyes widen alarmingly. I pulled his body closed to me and I hold him in my embrace. He did not respond to my words, but he did not cry either. I began to panic. What is the occasion for today? It must be really important for Naruto to respond like that.

"Gaara! You are hopeless! Today is Valentine Day!"

I giggled. Giggling like a love struck schoolgirl, then it escalated to a loud laugh that is totally OOC.

Oh my god, so that's what I forgot!

So that was why the whole female gender in Konoha was looking love-struck and smelling like perfume. So that's the reason everyone was carrying chocolate!

Impatient and angered at my response, he hit me on my face. Hard.

I caught him off-guard when I kissed him softly on the lips. His eyes widen even more than I thought he could and he blushed all over. I smirked. That surprise look on his face was priceless.

My smugness was erased as fast as it came when he caught me by surprise when he responded to my kiss. Oh god, I never thought that Naruto could kiss that way. _That felt so good._

But the need to breathe broke our kiss faster than we wanted it to be. Naruto immediately sat up and faced away from me and I followed suit.

I turned my face to look at Naruto's reaction. His face was flushed red from the lack of air and major blushing. I was not any better either as I gasped for breath in the aftermath of the kiss.

"You…Y-you…"

Naruto's voice broke me from my concentration to get air into my lungs and my attempt to remove the red color that was painted all over my cheeks.

I turned and looked at him.

"Wh-why did y-you k-kiss me?" He stuttered while voicing his question.

"Its…it's because…"

I didn't know how to answer him. I tried looking away from him and looked up. Bingo. I found my excuse.

"There's mistletoe above you so I just kiss you..."

Great going, Gaara, you coward. You can't even tell Naruto the truth.

Naruto looked up and sure enough, the mistletoe was hanging above him.

"Oh…." He replied disappointedly.

Oh kami-sama, I am sorry, Naruto. I am an idiot. You see, I am never good with words and I am so afraid you would hate me if I said something stupid.

I hope you would forgive me for being so silly. I am never good in voicing my feelings.

My averted eyes turned back to you, and my breath was cut short when my eyes grasped a glance of you.

Your gorgeous blonde hair that framed your face coupled with your stunning eyes proved that god poured all his soul to make his most beautiful creation, you.

A warm, affectionate feeling took over me as I looked at the blonde that meant so much to me.

"Thank you, Naruto."

He turned to look at me in the eyes. The disappointed look in his eyes vanished, replaced by a layer of curiosity and astonishment.

I smiled softly at him, my first genuinely happy smile of many more smiles to come.

"Why?" He questioned me.

I looked at him, staring into his sparkling cerulean eyes. This was the boy who changed my life forever; he flipped my life upside down, 360 degrees, faster than I could even breathe and react to it, he was there to change it.

"Thank you for changing my life, you were the savior that saved me from the clutches of the devil. I….I….would still be crawling in the bottomless pit of hell if you haven't come to rescued me from it…I…I…"

I blushed. I couldn't look at him in the eyes anymore! This is so embarrassing. He must be thinking I am weird now to say those words.

His soft lips that took over mine took my mind off my embarrassment. But my concentration on kissing him back made me loose control on my legs and I slipped and fell.

With him under me.

As I broke away from the kiss, with my face flushed with heavy breathing, I stared at the beautiful creature under me with who saved my life from the loneliness I was born into and changed my fate, my heart felt the warmth and happiness I never felt before.

Maybe this was the meaning of love that Yashamaru told me. Maybe this is how it felt.

"I love you, Naruto."

There, I said it. I must be out of my mind but it felt so good to tell the person I loved my feelings. Even if Naruto were to…

"I, I loved you too, Gaara.."

I hugged him softly. We were both lonely before. We were both searching for someone to live for, someone to love. And we finally found it.

We found ourselves.

As I leaned to capture another kiss from him, his loving and radiant sunshine touched me and warmed me from the inside.

The warmth that tell me I would never have to live for myself anymore.

That was because I found someone to live for. You.

You help me to see past the nightmares I had before and find the boy that was once Gaara. The wide-eyed boy who had hopes to love and be loved.

The road ahead of me might be a rough one, covered with rocks and stones that will pierce my legs, barriers that will stop me from moving on and turbulence that will throw me off the waves of life. I might not know what the future holds for me, but I know, I will have you by my side to battle the challenges of life.

And that, is all I need to smile everyday

For the rest of my life.

It is because I found you, Uzumaki Naruto.

-Fin

-----------

Terms:

Kaijuu – monster.

Kami-sama - god

Note:

Before anyone pointing out to me why Gaara could not command the sand he was waddling through, it is because those sand are in Konoha, and it's different kind of sand from the sand he used. Besides, it will be terrifying for other beach goers if he suddenly made all the sand float up or something, so there you have it. :P

-----------

Thank you for reading this fic. It's a little hurried because I totally forgotten to write this until it was Valentine so it's kinda rushed. And I thought up the idea and wrote it in about 1 ½ hour and it is un-betaed, so sorry if it's bad.

Hope you like it though. I took the title from Avril Lavigne's song "Naked" the part where she sang "I guess I never find someone like you to help me to _fit in my skin_"

Yeah, it was originally meant to be a songfic but I am not good in writing one-shot songfics so I end up with this :P

Review please!

- Broken-string Angel.

I need coffee………

-----------


End file.
